Collaborating with parents can be a challenge. How to make your relationship great by encouraging them to trust you... and even like you!
1. Don’t judge- parenting is hard. Parenting a neurotypical child is hard. Parenting a child with a disability… harder. I’m a mom. Trust me, my kids have eaten chips for breakfast and watched the videos on a tablet longer than they should have while I “rested my eyes for just a minute.” Sometimes, we all just do what we have to do to get through the minute, hour, day. As a teacher with support and structure you may think, "Geez they are making my life so much harder by giving their kid what they want all the time." Things are way different at home with a child all day, every day. Add chores, siblings, pets, lack of support, dinner, etc...
2.Don’t worry… Kids don’t always generalize behavior between home and school. Neurotypical kids even act different at home vs. school when they have different routines and expectations. Still, work on whatever it is you find challenging with your student at school and don’t use… “Well mom lets him/her do. ___ at home so there’s no way I can teach him it’s not ok here.”
You can! Generalization is a skill that comes later. Our kids are routine and it takes time to generalize things in different environments.
3. Empathize and listen- Put yourself in the parents shoes. Think of the worries, challenges, past experiences, work, responsibilities, etc. that they are facing. Also, when there’s a concern, listen. Find a way to help. If you don’t know the answer, find someone that might.
4. Respond in a timely manner. If you can’t respond to a concern, email, phone call right away, just let the parent know that you received this message and you’ll get back to them ASAP. Collaboration and communication is key to a trusting relationship.
5. Don’t take things personally… unless it actually is in which case reflect and see if you do need to do something differently. Parents of students with disabilities are used to having to advocate hard for what they need. Even after developing a good relationship, this may just have become a habit. Don’t take it personally. Sometimes, as a parent, when you can’t fix things yourself you do anything that you can to make yourself feel that you are at least doing something. That something might be providing a little more “feedback” than you would like.
6.Communicate frequently- Have a daily communication sheet or notebook. Let parents know what their student did well that day, what they had trouble with, the activities they participated in. Be honest, if there’s an issues that’s happening, don’t drop it on their lap during an IEP or conference and that’s the first time that they are made aware.
7. Make parents trust you. Show them how much you care about the well being and learning of their child. Treat (and teach) their child as you would your own. Have high expectations for yourself. Do what’s right… not what’s easy.
8. Be humble. Ask and take suggestions. Parents know their kids best. Combine your knowledge and their suggestions.
I would love to hear what works for you as well!
Here's a re-usable daily communication folder that I have used. Click the picture that links to this product below!
Check out the Teachers Pay Teachers Store on the Homepage (linked) for the End of the Day reflection sheet!